"Unfortunately, I do not have a spot available for you. You will need
to stay with your current provider or contact another care provider
for your pregnancy.
We have included an info sheet on local resources that you may find
helpful, along with the brochure: "Healthy Birth Your Way"
We would strongly encourage you to contact a doula, they are worth
every penny, especially since you are having a VBAC! I am sorry that
we can not help you, I know how frustrating it is to not be able to
get midwifery care.
We wish you the best with your pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum."
Cool, sell the idea of a doula TO A DOULA. And attached was a slap in the face brochure that listed some popular pregnancy and birth titles, and links to sites that I should hope any mother in the area should already know about. And their recommended health clinic was the one I was WITH for my last pregnancy- the group of baboons that put me through hell and back in the first place.
I feel so defeated. Like the whole fucking world is ganging up to beat me down. WHY can't I have this? Who needs and deserves this more than I do? I don't even know where to go from here.